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Coming Out - How Did People Deal With It?
 
# 46 : Wednesday 17-8-2011 @ 22:08
 
 
Someone said :
I don't think there is such a thing as coming out late...I think everyone is different, and better "late" than never.

Well relatively later in life (though I know I'm still relatively young).

Personally i don't feel like I regret not coming out sooner, or that I should have done it sooner. For once I'm completely comfortable with who I am, and everything that's happened to me to date makes me who I am!
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# 47 : Wednesday 17-8-2011 @ 22:09
 
 
Someone said :

For once I'm completely comfortable with who I am, and everything that's happened to me to date makes me who I am!

An admirable sentiment!
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# 48 : Wednesday 17-8-2011 @ 22:15
 
 
Someone said :

Well relatively later in life (though I know I'm still relatively young).

Personally i don't feel like I regret not coming out sooner, or that I should have done it sooner. For once I'm completely comfortable with who I am, and everything that's happened to me to date makes me who I am!

Relative to who b@tch!!! I am young out.
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# 49 : Wednesday 17-8-2011 @ 22:25
 
 
Someone said :

Relative to who b@tch!!! I am young out.

Your level of maturity occasionally leads me to think otherwise at times ;-)
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# 50 : Thursday 18-8-2011 @ 19:07
 
 
My Boyfriend is 30 today

in the last 4 years he slowly came out to everybody. When we started our relationship none of his family or friends knew his sexuality and for the first year or so and he kept our relationship secret from them. Then slowly we got to the stage where we were a couple and we would even kiss and cuddle at partys given by his friends. Now when we were in his mams house in China we slept together in his bedroom and he was so totally cool about us even in rural China.

But I don't think he would have come out if he was not in love with me and to be honest a lot more people know I am gay because of our relationship and the fact that we are together all the time (I suppose the hand holding and cuddling gives them a hint)

But I don't think that any age is too late to come out and I don't think that in the future that people will have to come out as society becomes more enlightened to sexual orientation

we are not that special anymore..... can we take being normal!!!
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# 51 : Thursday 18-8-2011 @ 19:48
 
 
Aww, that sounds wonderful.

My biggest mistake was thinking being gay meant you were supposed to be either a sex crazed party animal, or a strange little hermit living in constant evasion of indecency accusations.
Once I got out into the real world for a year or two I was relieved to find that stereotypes like that are as wrong and flimsy and the bubble-headed communities that sustain them.
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# 52 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 10:40
 
 
Something somebody else said tome the other day got me thinking a bit more about the whole "identity" thing and not being able to bring the gay and straight sides of me together.

I think I've realised that my problem in that regard was really just me not feeling totally comfortable still with being gay. I think the reason why I was finding it a bit hard was that I was was just so conscious of the gay side and was kind of looking for validation of it from others. Others were able to accept it and get over it fairly quickly I guess so didn't really see the need to go into it. But because I wasn't comfortable with it still, I felt it hanging over us.

I think for the same reason I've almost felt compelled at times to tell certain people, to the point I'm not comfortable being around them until I tell them. Again, it's on my mind so much, and I'm not necessarily cool with it yet, so I need to tell people just to show how comfortable I am with it. Not to them, but to myself. I think Im forcing the issue a bit because the alternative is to feel ashamed of it which lead me to be in denial and be unhappy for so long.

Don't get me wrong, I've come s long way in terms of my acceptance but I still have bait of a way to go. I still tend to be a bit ashamed of the sex part (I get very weird when straight people ask me if I've been with any guys yet).

I guess I just need to remind myself that it's ok to take a bit of time to get through all this.

I don't know why I feel the need to tell you guys all this, but I guess it's a bit cathartic for me to put it out there.
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# 53 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 10:49
 
 
Give yourself a break, floggg. As you say, you've come a long way. We all have this journey to make any many of us are still near the beginning.

From what you have said, you've gone through a lot of stages very quickly - much quicker than I have anyway. So you are bound to feel a bit disoriented as each stage takes a while to get used to. All this comes with it's own stresses.

Sometimes I get stressed at the pace that things change at, if I can't keep my emotional health on an even keel while everything is changing around me then I feel like I'm losing control of it all.

There's no time-table for this journey. It took me a long time to realise that.
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# 54 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 10:57
 
 
Someone said :
I came out to my parents today. I told my dad that i had some news that might shock him. He thought that i was going to tell him that I had cancer. He was delighted that the news was only that i was gay. He said as long as i was happy that is all that matters. I thought he would have serious problems with it. How wrong was I. I am delighted now.

I missed this post. That's great news, frames. I know I'm getting closer to doing the same myself.
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# 55 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 11:02
 
 
Someone said :
Give yourself a break, floggg. As you say, you've come a long way. We all have this journey to make any many of us are still near the beginning.

From what you have said, you've gone through a lot of stages very quickly - much quicker than I have anyway. So you are bound to feel a bit disoriented as each stage takes a while to get used to. All this comes with it's own stresses.

Sometimes I get stressed at the pace that things change at, if I can't keep my emotional health on an even keel while everything is changing around me then I feel like I'm losing control of it all.

There's no time-table for this journey. It took me a long time to realise that.

Thanks column.

Im probably making things sound worse than they are. As I said I think I have come along way and am generally happy with how things are going for me. I honestly feel so much better about things over the last few months. As a whole, it's so much easier lately than it was when I was lying to myself.

I guess just needed to express my thoughts on this just to work through them. Now that I figured this one out it's not really so much of any issue anymore!
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# 56 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 11:05
 
 
As my old counsellor told me once, enjoy the journey instead of looking forward to the destination.
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# 57 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 11:13
 
 
Someone said :
As my old counsellor told me once, enjoy the journey instead of looking forward to the destination.

Good advice and I am enjoying it as a whole.

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# 58 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 11:13
 
 
Someone said :

Your level of maturity occasionally leads me to think otherwise at times ;-)

Are you calling Tripper mature?
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# 59 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 11:15
 
 
Someone said :
Are you calling Tripper mature?

We need a sarcasm font here!
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# 60 : Sunday 21-8-2011 @ 15:08
 
 
Chickens I am twice as mature and a hundred times younger than the both of you.
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