Become A Member | Forum | Profiles | Personals | Classifieds | See Who's Online ...
 
View Topic
  Message Boards : Coming Out : View Topic : 51 Posts, Page 1 of 4
  HomeNewNoticesHot TopicsPollsStatsBlogs Login / Register
 
Musings On The Neccessity Of A Sub Culture
 
# 1 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 07:35
 
 
I was just thinking there about being out and gay sub culture.

Do people want sub culture? like is it a good thing? there aren't enough gays to just go round chatting people up, so let's all agree to go out together and at least the question of "is he gay?, is he gay?, is he gay? is put to rest because we're all meeting under the nice big bracket of all being gay.

Imagine a world where all of your friends knew you were gay immediatly as soon as you knew because it wasn't a mortal disgrace to your eternal soul (or so you're told/taught/led to believe).

Imagine a world where you're having a night out and you spot someone. You lean to one of your friends and say "is that John chap over there gay do you know?" "who him?" the friend leans to another friend mutters a question then returns "yeah Stacy is friends with him and knows for sure he's gay" "great" and off you go.

If everyone's friends knew everyone who was gay and knew that it wasn't an embarrassment but was free, vital information like their eye colour or their nationality. Gay get-togethers would only be needed as a fun themed night out to bitch light heartidly about straight people or how tired your wrists are from all that waving (apparently).
Gaydar would be redundant except for one on one suituations, and a wrong guess would only be mildly embarrassing, and not range into slightly offended to "dangerous mistake pal" territory.

When homosexuality eventually becomes mundane and everyday (if it ever suceeds in happening) Gay people won't need to meet up out of social nessessity. Being gay will just be like reading scifi, being into rugby or having a coin collection. Friends will know friends and non challantly offer the information. Just like the three not quiet yet aquainted X-men fans might eventually wind up in a corner together arguing over wither Storm or Cyclops is the better Ambassador for the series, so to might gay people co-habitate social evenings once actually being gay isin't a kin to being someone who takes unwanted christmas pets away and kills them for free.

(which as a metaphore is, someone who you either may be disgusted by and perminantly change your opinion of or someone you may need to speak with but for unsavoury reasons)


Reply
 
 Recent Message Board Topics
Rant Thread 6
What To See At The Cinema (Part Deux)
What Song Are You Listening To Now?!?!
Random Thoughts 21 : Think Fast
Cara For Garda
Eurovision Song Contest 2017
Lesser Known Quotes " "
Dead Thread 2017
 
Hey! If you enjoy shooting the breeze with like-minded people, check out
our Message Boards
• Advice • Coming Out
• Computers • Current Affairs
• Discussion • Food & Drink
• Going Out • Humour
• Health • Music
• Newbies • Sexual Issues
# 2 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 07:58
 
 
It's going away from being a sub culture, what with people coming out younger and younger. And I say this is a great thing.

I don't buy the whole idea that we should keep our sub culture or keep it underground. In his rant on Sunday, Eamon Delaney brought up what Guardian columnist Suzanne Moore wrote recently. She believes that we shouldn't have marriage because that's selling out to conservatism, that being gay should be edgy and counter-culture. This is complete bollix as it's insinuating that it's a choice to be gay the same way that it's a choice to be sub-culture.

I'm sure lots of gays do want to stay counter-culture. Let them, I say. They'll be in the minority (which should suit them) but they shouldn't try to keep all of the gay community with them.
Reply
 
# 3 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:01
 
 
Someone said :
I was just thinking there about being out and gay sub culture.

Do people want sub culture? like is it a good thing? there aren't enough gays to just go round chatting people up, so let's all agree to go out together and at least the question of "is he gay?, is he gay?, is he gay? is put to rest because we're all meeting under the nice big bracket of all being gay.

Imagine a world where all of your friends knew you were gay immediatly as soon as you knew because it wasn't a mortal disgrace to your eternal soul (or so you're told/taught/led to believe).

Imagine a world where you're having a night out and you spot someone. You lean to one of your friends and say "is that John chap over there gay do you know?" "who him?" the friend leans to another friend mutters a question then returns "yeah Stacy is friends with him and knows for sure he's gay" "great" and off you go.

If everyone's friends knew everyone who was gay and knew that it wasn't an embarrassment but was free, vital information like their eye colour or their nationality. Gay get-togethers would only be needed as a fun themed night out to bitch light heartidly about straight people or how tired your wrists are from all that waving (apparently).
Gaydar would be redundant except for one on one suituations, and a wrong guess would only be mildly embarrassing, and not range into slightly offended to "dangerous mistake pal" territory.

When homosexuality eventually becomes mundane and everyday (if it ever suceeds in happening) Gay people won't need to meet up out of social nessessity. Being gay will just be like reading scifi, being into rugby or having a coin collection. Friends will know friends and non challantly offer the information. Just like the three not quiet yet aquainted X-men fans might eventually wind up in a corner together arguing over wither Storm or Cyclops is the better Ambassador for the series, so to might gay people co-habitate social evenings once actually being gay isin't a kin to being someone who takes unwanted christmas pets away and kills them for free.

(which as a metaphore is, someone who you either may be disgusted by and perminantly change your opinion of or someone you may need to speak with but for unsavoury reasons)

That would b great alright. Though most nights I go to pub, I know 3 - 10 people there, other than at parties.

So ther would still be far too much guess work.

Now if you could persuade straight men not to get offended when I chat them up, or else revitalise the whole gay earring thing, then we'd be laughing!
Reply
 
# 4 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:05
 
 
Someone said :

That would b great alright. Though most nights I go to pub, I know 3 - 10 people there, other than at parties.

So ther would still be far too much guess work.

Now if you could persuade straight men not to get offended when I chat them up, or else revitalise the whole gay earring thing, then we'd be laughing!

Better yet, bring back the hankies!
Reply
 
# 5 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:18
 
 
Keep your gay bars, at least when in The George listening to the crappy music and drinking the overpriced drinks you can be sure that most you set your sights on are gay.
Reply
 
# 6 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:24
 
 
Someone said :
Keep your gay bars, at least when in The George listening to the crappy music and drinking the overpriced drinks you can be sure that most you set your sights on are gay.

Also, if we didn't have the gay bars, we'd lose a lot of 'entertainers', 'drags' and 'djs' alike.
Reply
 
# 7 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:29
 
 
It might be that in a few years time that gay bars become purely pick up places though which is no bad thing either. I have some gay mates that never go to gay bars for anything but cruising.
Reply
 
# 8 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:36
 
 
Someone said :
It might be that in a few years time that gay bars become purely pick up places though which is no bad thing either. I have some gay mates that never go to gay bars for anything but cruising.

I actually think the exact opposite. Cruising itself (as in the Furry Glen/Boilerhouse/etc) has been rapidly dying over the past few years thanks to Gaydar and especially Grindr. I can't see people going to bars to hook up when they can just turn on their phone. If anything, bars will become much more about socialising. But I can't see a place for gay bars in that future.
Reply
 
# 9 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 08:37
 
 
Some people prefer the traditional methods but that's probably true.
Reply
 
# 10 : Tuesday 1-11-2011 @ 09:40
 
 
Yea, Id much prefer to go on the pull in a gay bar than the online thing. At least in a gay bar you can actually chat them up a bit and make sure that they aren't a complete pyscho.

That and you don't have to put up with getting random cock shots from 50 year old married men with panty fetishes.
Reply
 
# 11 : Wednesday 2-11-2011 @ 00:39
 
 
Someone said :

When homosexuality eventually becomes mundane and everyday (if it ever suceeds in happening) Gay people won't need to meet up out of social nessessity. Being gay will just be like reading scifi, being into rugby or having a coin collection. Friends will know friends and non challantly offer the information.

First it has to become mundane in our own minds. Yes, sex, my desires and all that are fun and important to me, but being immutable, they are just as mundane as my having green eyes, reddish beard, being tall etc. all are to me. If I don't bat an eyelid when I say 'Oh, he's a ride!' about a hot guy, others in earshot soon treat it for what it is. Things like that won't ever be a common occurence if everyone is waiting for someone else to be bold for them. See thread on straight bars where someone was admonished by a friend for dancing too soon/before everyone was smashed: do we want to wait for an equivalent 'not 'til everyone is drunk' moment before being ourselves?! Sure if all the straights were drunk 24/7 we could just carry on and live our lives...
Reply
 
# 12 : Wednesday 2-11-2011 @ 03:08
 
 
It may become less of a shbculture here in the mainstream bars and straight bars but remember this,through our underground nature we fed cabaret,disco,club culture,film,fashion,design,electro,art,advertising and branding,we lead the field in community and sex based inter.et endeavours.
Within our subculture we have websites and clubs specialising in fetishes,skinheads,bears etc.
I like my difference and I understand that I am a product of my era,but as happy as I am for all the younger gays I think they would be worse off without the subculture,it teaches us further tolerance,opens us up to a life less ordinary than our straight brethren and reminds us of our history.
The utopia suggested by the op does not yet exist and is highly unlikely for years to come,think of how far africa,eastern europee etc have yet to travel.
Im happy with subculture,i dont like ghettos but will always be grateful that there are spaces that are ours,and not theirs,cuz when push comes to shove many straight peoples tolerant veneers are just that.
Vive la difference.
Typed on phone so apolovies for awful spelling.
Reply
 
# 13 : Wednesday 2-11-2011 @ 03:40
 
 
I can understand the need for friendship with those sharing particular characteristics such as sexual orientation - not least when they are minority characteristics that the majority don't fully "understand". That is why my former platonic friendship with Colm was so important to me, and why I have not been the same since it ended. Finding replacements is hard for me because I don't like crowds and loud music, and internet people are only looking for sex and not with me anymore. My Asperger Syndrome makes me really jumpy in social situations so I just avoid them.

Hence forums such as Gaire fulfill a valuable role in my life.
ReplyWebsite
 
# 14 : Wednesday 2-11-2011 @ 07:45
 
 
sub-cultures are vital for the mental health of some people. Not only for gay people, but other for other sub cultures as well.

As this thread is on the gay community sub-culture... there is this other thread which points out the difficulty in meeting gay people at random, due to the relatively low numbers.
Reply
 
# 15 : Wednesday 2-11-2011 @ 14:56
 
 
Someone said :

Better yet, bring back the hankies!

Is that not used to identify sub-culture?
Reply
 
Prev 1234Next