Someone said :
I agree. He feels that he is betraying her if he does pluck up the courage to tell her he is bi. I'm only going on what has been said in the edited opening post.
I don't agree.
1- I don't feel I can come out (in the future)
2- But at the same time I am betraying her (in the present) and I hate it
He does not feel coming out would betray her, but that it would expose him.
"I hate betraying" means: I am betraying and I hate doing it in the present.
As oppose to "I'd hate", "I would hate to come out and thus betray her".
So by what he wrote: he betrays her, feels bad about it, and wonders if he should come out instead.
So he is damned if he does and damned if he "don't"!