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Advice Please (Coming Out)
 
# 16 : Tuesday 13-11-2012 @ 22:21
 
 
Oh God. It could be interpreted either way. He's gone months now so we'll never now.
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# 17 : Tuesday 13-11-2012 @ 22:49
 
 
He had 17 adverts looking for and offering oral sex, advertising his free gaff for sex etc making it clear he was a geebag.
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# 18 : Tuesday 13-11-2012 @ 22:52
 
 
He probably has a boyfriend by now then
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# 19 : Tuesday 13-11-2012 @ 23:00
 
 
Someone said :
He had 17 adverts looking for and offering oral sex, advertising his free gaff for sex etc making it clear he was a geebag.

We'll never know then, with him being taken either way and all
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# 20 : Tuesday 13-11-2012 @ 23:33
 
 
Each to their own, I'm doing piece meal coming out, nearly told everyone now apart from parents
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# 21 : Thursday 13-12-2012 @ 23:24
 
 
Just told parents tonight, my dad told me I shouldn't have told them and my Mom was crying,
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# 22 : Thursday 13-12-2012 @ 23:55
 
 
Give them time. They'll be thinking all sorts of things for a while.
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# 23 : Friday 14-12-2012 @ 00:06
 
 
Someone said :
Just told parents tonight, my dad told me I shouldn't have told them and my Mom was crying,

Well done for telling them.
As Column says, give them plenty of time to get used to it.

After I told my parents, it wasn't even mentioned again until a few years later (but I was living well away from them).
If you don't have a partner, there mightn't be a need to mention it again for a while, but at least they know the real you now.
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# 24 : Friday 14-12-2012 @ 00:16
 
 
Thanks, work with my Dad, so will see him in the morning, I live with my bf, hopefully they will come around
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# 25 : Friday 14-12-2012 @ 02:24
 
 
Someone said :
Thanks, work with my Dad, so will see him in the morning, I live with my bf, hopefully they will come around

Or they might invite both of ye around for Sunday dinner.
I hope it all goes well.
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# 26 : Friday 14-12-2012 @ 09:35
 
 
Yeah that would be cool, Dad seems ok today
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# 27 : Friday 14-12-2012 @ 10:55
 
 
Someone said :
Yeah that would be cool, Dad seems ok today

That's good news.
When you told him yesterday, is that all he said - "You shouldn't have told us"?
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# 28 : Saturday 15-12-2012 @ 10:22
 
 
Said I ruined Christmas, told him wasn't telling them to hurt them, said I should change, told him I can't change who I am, he said what about work said I'm not changing any way.I work, he said what about having girlfriend said not had one in over 15 years, it's the toughest reaction i have experienced everyone else I have told didn't care, only one friend cried
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# 29 : Saturday 15-12-2012 @ 10:36
 
 
Do you think you could suggest your parents talk to LOOK?


http://www.lovingouroutkids.org/

http://www.lovingouroutkids.org/assets/files/LOOK.pdf
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# 30 : Saturday 15-12-2012 @ 11:30
 
 
Someone said :
Said I ruined Christmas, told him wasn't telling them to hurt them, said I should change, told him I can't change who I am, he said what about work said I'm not changing any way.I work, he said what about having girlfriend said not had one in over 15 years, it's the toughest reaction i have experienced everyone else I have told didn't care, only one friend cried

It amazes me how blinkered and self-centred the reaction of some people can be.
If they only knew about the years of pain, anguish, secrecy, mental torture that we've gone through over the years,
trying to figure out why the hell society and other people have such a problem with this simple, simple thing.
All we want is to snuggle with someone we are attracted to and they are attracted to us.
We are completely innocent and completely harmless and all of this crap we have to go through is so fucking unfair and unjust.

I've always thought that if we sat our parents down and told them in detail about all this waste of time and emotion.
A couple of years after I came out, my dad was trying to get me to go to mass at xmas so I actually sat my dad down and told him that I get an erection when I see a man I like and I don't get an erection for women, so why the fuck should I try to have a girlfriend?
I think this clarifies clearly what being homosexual is.
And this is completely harmless to anyone else and completely harmless to society so why the fuck should I go through the torture of trying to become heterosexual?

Lots of people never hear this explanation and they go around thinking that homosexuality is some nebulous thing about emotions and psychology.
If they are genuinely heterosexual, they don't think about the reality of how they would go about making themselves never get an erection for women ever again and always get an erection for men.

I wonder how he would react if you asked him that!

Anyway, I assume he didn't bring it up again since the night you came out to him?

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