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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum...
 
# 1 : Tuesday 17-4-2012 @ 18:58
 
 
Best One of the Week?
Has to be this one which reflects large on the state of affairs in the EU:


So Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."
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# 2 : Tuesday 17-4-2012 @ 19:00
 
 
The old ones are indeed the oldest.
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# 3 : Tuesday 17-4-2012 @ 19:01
 
 
I love it.
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# 4 : Thursday 19-4-2012 @ 22:40
 
 
A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I remember about that party, you're fucking lucky you don't bark!"
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# 5 : Thursday 19-4-2012 @ 22:43
 
 
Someone said :
His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I remember about that party, you're fucking lucky you don't bark!"

Was that a Freudian slip she's implying she's a bitch ?
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# 6 : Thursday 10-5-2012 @ 17:25
 
 
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to the Epsom Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants, and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in Grade 3?

'No ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
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# 7 : Thursday 10-5-2012 @ 17:41
 
 
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# 8 : Thursday 2-8-2012 @ 01:20
 
 
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.'

'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..'

'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?'

'Anything, Father.'

'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.'

'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'


The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.


'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'...

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

'Father, could I ask something of you?'

'Yes, Sister?'

'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?'

'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.

'Oh Father, may I touch it?'

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can Give Life.'

'Is that true Father?'

'Yes, it is, Sister.'

'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!'
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# 9 : Tuesday 7-8-2012 @ 19:44
 
 
A couple was having a problem with their marriage, so his wife decides that they should go see a marriage counselor.

The counselor could tell that the husband did not want to be there, so he says, "Ok, let's just start off by talking about what you both have in common."

The husband quickly looks towards his wife and says, "Well, first of all, neither of us sucks dick."
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# 10 : Tuesday 7-8-2012 @ 22:37
 
 
Someone said :
A couple was having a problem with their marriage, so his wife decides that they should go see a marriage counselor.

The counselor could tell that the husband did not want to be there, so he says, "Ok, let's just start off by talking about what you both have in common."

The husband quickly looks towards his wife and says, "Well, first of all, neither of us sucks dick."

Reply
 
# 11 : Wednesday 22-8-2012 @ 01:06
 
 
A long married couple were having no luck at having children.
The wife was profoundly hard of hearing, her husband, or anyone else had to shout at her very loudly to be heard.
She decided as time was not on their side, that she would go and see a specialist, to see if there was any chance of having children.

After a battery of tests and a thorough examination the doctor gave his determination.
"You have a deficiency in your birth canal and if you ever had anything, it would be a miracle."

The wife went home. The husband greeted her with,
"WELL? WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?"

As is the wont of people who are hard of hearing, she shouted back, "HE SAID I HAVE A FISH IN MY CANAL AND IF I HAVE ANYTHING, IT WILL BE A MACKEREL."
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# 12 : Monday 24-9-2012 @ 21:49
 
 
In the "It's not just you" category...


A couple in their nineties is both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks..
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast?'
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# 13 : Tuesday 25-9-2012 @ 10:57
 
 
wanna' learn more about feminism?
Study a-broad!
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# 14 : Tuesday 25-9-2012 @ 11:11
 
 
Someone said :
Best One of the Week?
Has to be this one which reflects large on the state of affairs in the EU:


So Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."

Reply
 
# 15 : Tuesday 25-9-2012 @ 11:28
 
 
My pet hamster, Elvis, died last night... he was caught in a trap
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