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Children...The Be All And End All
 
# 1 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 19:29
 
 
I've been noticing lately; since I'm getting on a bit, that suddenly everyone is having lots of babies. Nearly all my un-single straight friends are doing it and most of the other members of my immediate and extended family are doing it.

I'd like a small rant here about the baby thing, and to hear your opinions. I worry that I might be the only human alive that doesn't believe that having children is the most wonderful aspiration and incredible achievement.

I am sick of babies being cooed over. I am sick of being expected to coo. I am sick of having every single little conversation either starting out from the get go about the baby or having it hijacked towards baby issues or interrupted by baby doing something equally as trivial as the last time. I am sick of having the message put across, either explicitly or implicitly that having children makes you a better person, or that having no children makes your opinion less relevant. I am sick of the tedium of watching perfectly normal child development being 'clinicised' as wondrous, abnormal or something that needs something else to happen. (The endless categorisation of incidents being down to 'teething' 'tired' or 'hungry'.)

I have one female friend, who like a breath of fresh air, has no immediate plans to have babies. She wants to enjoy her own life. Now, undeniably having babies is fabulous and exciting and all that, but it's not the only option. I hate the chute that we get funnelled into - like once you're married, you will have children.

I see friends desperate, desperate to have children; and I just want to tell them that they can still play their part in society and our circles as a fabulous friend, daughter, sister aunt, confidant, (and male equivalents) - and that they aren't a failure by not having children.

I absolutely do not want children, and when I say that, I get a look that I'm recognising now that for some reason makes me feel I need to apologise for feeling the way I do. I love the babies in my family but have not the slightest desire to have one, in fact I would not like to have one.

So, your opinions? I searched and saw lots of thread discussion on having babies to gay couples - but I'd like to hear if anyone even slightly agrees (you don't have to be as vehement as I am!) that the having of children is not that which makes a person complete...
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# 2 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 19:43
 
 
I think you're exaggerating the issue? (which is fair enough if your just having a rant)

but no, I don't think everyone thinks children are the be all and end all.
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# 3 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 19:49
 
 
Ive noticed alot of people in my extended family and my close friends are all having babies... I dread the christenings as all I hear is "oh have you not met anyone" "your still single, ye?" and the classic one "we cant wait till you have kids"

In a way its great to see this level of acceptance but thanks but no thanks
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# 4 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 19:49
 
 
Deffo a rant. I done dad for my sisters two youngest after she split but never realised it until the two kids told me years later - near fell over when they said it - I was always there for them and their mum, I just thought that was normal
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# 5 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 20:10
 
 
I think it's not sometning to be ashamed of that being gay, you don't have the sense of being on a mission to reproduce that many straight people have. It's just nature.
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# 6 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 20:29
 
 
I think you got the run of yourself there sugartits. No one expects you to coo over their baby, just a bit of shared happiness once in a while is probably all they are asking for. Babies obviously need a lot of love and attention and deservedly so. They grow up pretty quick and you'll get your friend back along with their side kick if they like you. It's just a part of life.
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# 7 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 21:00
 
 
Someone said :
I think it's not sometning to be ashamed of that being gay, you don't have the sense of being on a mission to reproduce that many straight people have. It's just nature.

I agree ye but some elderly straights just don't see that
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# 8 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 21:15
 
 
I'd be terrified of having my own children but I can't wait for my sister to hopefully have one
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# 9 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 21:47
 
 
Someone said :
I think it's not sometning to be ashamed of that being gay, you don't have the sense of being on a mission to reproduce that many straight people have. It's just nature.

I'm not sure. Why do we pigeonhole sexual orientation and parenting urges together.

I think that sentence you wrote could have been written

Someone said :
I think it's not sometning to be ashamed of you don't have the sense of being on a mission to reproduce that many other people have. It's just nature. Some people want children. Some don't

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# 10 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 22:05
 
 
Someone said :
Why do we pigeonhole sexual orientation and parenting urges together.

Because straight sex can produce children while gay sex cannot.
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# 11 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 22:35
 
 
Someone said :
Because straight sex can produce children while gay sex cannot.

Sweet Jesus, won't someone think of the childerent.
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# 12 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 22:49
 
 
We all have a reason to be here. We all have a thing or two to learn or to do.

For people who feel their main role in life is to bring more life into this world, I see nothing wrong with it and I want to share that happiness coming from the most magic and useful of natural functions.

And for the people who have that desire to raise children, dedicate their lives to these other lives that they may have procreated, or adopted in their families, or otherwise been involved in raising, I think they do the most self-less and useful thing in the world. Even when they do it for selfish reasons.

This being said. they deserve to be happy and to tell the world about it and to celebrate that great achievement and that fantastic involvement.

This being said, some people have a different destiny: maybe they cannot have children, maybe they are not fit to raise children, maybe they do not desire to, and prefer to fill their lives with other interests and other pursuits.
There is nothing wrong with it.

And it does not give the rights to parents to look down at the non-parents.
Nor does it give a right to non-parents to accuse parents of being victims and perpetrators of some social pressure "to get married and have children."

If you feel victim of such "pressures", it is only because of your approach to children, family and commitment. It is not because of family, children and commitment themselves.


Those who decide not have children are not "child-less".
Nor are those who decide to have children "life-less".

We all have our destiny to fulfill.
We all ought to ourselves to find what that destiny is and how to achieve a meaningful life.
Raising children is always meaningful, that is why it is so celebrated by society.
Doing something else can also be meaningful, but it needs more convincing to justify a life dedicated to it. Does not make it less worthwhile.


Video Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbWa-dAkQDg
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# 13 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 22:54
 
 
Next time Loquatious just say that all pudgy ugly kids look the same to you. Pause, then say one of the three of us has shat themselves. They probably won't expect much from you after that .
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# 14 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 22:59
 
 
Someone said :
Because straight sex can produce children while gay sex cannot.

and?
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# 15 : Thursday 13-6-2013 @ 23:04
 
 
Someone said :
and?

And that is why a proportionately greater number of straight people get so worked up about having children. They are mostly hardwired to reproduce.
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