Someone said :
Life is never so simple that it can account for all eventualities. I'm bi and married and there is no way that my wife would understand where I come from in respect to the "affairs", "flings" or other encounters that I have with men. I know this, because we have discussed gay issues in general, not specific to me, and she is in no way supportive of men who have sex with other men. I do love her, I don't want to hurt her but I also need these other desires and passions fulfilled. I don't know where within me these desires come from but I do know that they are emotionally powerful thoughts and passions which at times are almost overwhelming.
Yes, I do have sex with my wife on a regular basis and when we make love, I work at making sure that she enjoyes it to the fullest. However, I also need the other experiences in my life. I don't expect people to understand where I come from on this and I know that there are many who will condemn what I have said but from where I stand, life is not as black and white as it might appear to others.
In order to do wrong, everyone has to justify it to themselves.
If your wife loves you and you have an honest conversation with her, maybe she might understand.
What is her experience of homosexuality?
Maybe if she understood how it affects someone so close to her - that would make her think a bit more about it.
The bottom line is that you don't know for sure how she would react OVER TIME to the reality of who you are.
Anybody who has come out about their sexuality doesn't know how people will react.
Many people say their parents would never understand.
I came from the most devout catholic family you could imagine.
My father made disparaging remarks about homosexuals when I was growing up.
But I came out to him and at first he had a hard time with it.
But as time passed he was becoming ok with it.
Then on one visit home I had a very open, honest conversation with him about it.
He seems 100% comfortable with it now and has been for a while.