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Is An Affair Ever Justified?
 
 Poll Choices 27 Total Votes
55.56% / 15 Votes
44.44% / 12 Votes
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# 46 : Thursday 27-3-2014 @ 18:08
 
 
Someone said :

Yeah, but the "yes" voters are keeping their heads down - I'm a no voter

I doubt it, its anonymous.
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# 47 : Thursday 27-3-2014 @ 18:22
 
 
Someone said :
The whole concept of an affair needs to be revisited. Humans naturally seek diversity in all things. Perhaps the hurt some feel from a partner's affair owe much to fairytale concepts of everlasting monogamy that owe more to outdated Victorian idealism that the natural order of things.

To quote Forrest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates".

...If this had of been my attitude, that we seek diversity, or life is like a box of chocolates, then why would I have gotten married...I chose a life partner based on the notion that we were a partnership both within the marriage and outside..This wasn't based on fairy tales, we weren't children, we were adults...He chose to engage in affairs, he chose to lie, if he had any deceny he should have left..
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# 48 : Thursday 27-3-2014 @ 18:35
 
 
Perhaps the hurt some feel from a partner's affair owe much to fairytale concepts of everlasting monogamy that owe more to outdated Victorian idealism that the natural order of things.

No, the hurt comes from being cheated on by someone who has made vows to not fuck around.

Its pretty simple as far as i see it, if you don't want to stick with the one partner then you don't marry, or you marry someone who is happy for you to sleep around.
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# 49 : Thursday 27-3-2014 @ 18:38
 
 
Maybe polygamy is the answer as in the Islamic world. Except for equalities sake polyandry should be allowed too.
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# 50 : Thursday 27-3-2014 @ 18:42
 
 
Someone said :
The whole concept of an affair needs to be revisited. Humans naturally seek diversity in all things. Perhaps the hurt some feel from a partner's affair owe much to fairytale concepts of everlasting monogamy that owe more to outdated Victorian idealism that the natural order of things.

To quote Forrest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates".

Is that what you said to your boyfriend when you were unable to resist the allure of tickle-me-elmo?

I disagree unsurprisingly. I am all for open relationships. I myself have am in such a scenario at the moment and it is very liberating. But choice is the point here. No affair can occur as we have both agreed to a non monogamous relationship. If it ever gets to the point where either one of us want to change the status of that agreement we will do so as adults. And if it isn't suitable we both have the choice to walk away.

Having an affair is cowardly and dishonest. If you want to talk emotional "evolution" then growing a fucking pair is required.
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# 51 : Thursday 27-3-2014 @ 18:44
 
 
Someone said :
Maybe polygamy is the answer as in the Islamic world. Except for equalities sake polyandry should be allowed too.

God I wouldn't be on for that carry on now!
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# 52 : Wednesday 1-11-2017 @ 22:33
 
 
I'm after reading the unredacted Tory MP sex list. The shenanigans in Westminster are crazy.

Is everyone in society at this to a similar proportion? Or are the Houses of Parliament a unique place full of certain types of individuals all brought together in tempestuous vortex of power and stress?

And as for whats about to 'come out' about Michael Fallon Defence Secretary...He seemed like the most placid member in there.
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# 53 : Wednesday 1-11-2017 @ 22:46
 
 
Someone said :
I'm after reading the unredacted Tory MP sex list. The shenanigans in Westminster are crazy.

Is everyone in society at this to a similar proportion? Or are the Houses of Parliament a unique place full of certain types of individuals all brought together in tempestuous vortex of power and stress?

And as for whats about to 'come out' about Michael Fallon Defence Secretary...He seemed like the most placid member in there.

They lost the moral compass, it's always the case the more " conservative" they are the more likely they are to be doing what they say you shouldn't
You see it in the US
You see it in the DUP
The bigger the bigot the bigger the pervert.
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# 54 : Saturday 4-11-2017 @ 02:28
 
 
As someone who was cheated on in a relatively brief early relationship in my 20s, my view is probably coloured by my painful experience. But my "partner" at the time was a vain, selfish, narcissistic individual who didn't care one jot about my feelings. I was willing to excuse this behaviour at the time because he was pretty hot in bed and we had some great times going out clubbing and I was pretty naive. But I knew he was lying to me. I eventually called it a day and he implored me to take him back and that he would change his ways. But no, I stupidly gave him a second chance and he did it again. So that was that.

It's nothing to do with Catholic morals - cheating on one's partner is deeply selfish, deceitful and cowardly. You sit down with your partner and try to work things out. If you decide on an open relationship as many increasingly do, then fine as long as you respect each others' boundaries. If not, you go your separate ways. yes it might be painful but is lying and deceiving really a better option? To try to justify getting your jollies behind your spouse's back is a total act of betrayal. Yes, I understand that there are quite a few older men on the classifieds here who married women in less enlightened times and feel frustrated and trapped, but does that really justify cheating with others and potentially exposing their spouse to an STD?

Not good in my opinion.


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# 55 : Saturday 4-11-2017 @ 08:37
 
 

Is an affair ever justified? But justified to who and why? Who they betray ? Themselves ? No.

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# 56 : Sunday 5-11-2017 @ 00:10
 
 
No it is never right, if all you are going to do is fuck outside the marriage then the simple question is what right do you have to make your partner think that marriage isn't on the rocks? because if you are doing the dirt it is and after that what right does anyone have to lie to keep a person in a relationship that they aren't committed to themselves? all this "Well I'm bi she'd never understand" or "She wouldn't see my point of view that I like to wear knickers and be fucked from behind" IS NOT A VALID JUSTIFICATION for that behaviour.

If you are gay then be gay, if you are bi then be bi, if you want to dress as Cher while two guys spit roast you then by all means do it and I wouldn't judge you for it but what I will judge anyone for isn't their kink or sexual preference it is the fact that all the time they are doing all that shit their partner doesn't know and thinks everything is fine when really they should be told so that they can make a choice and move on but the selfish bastard who is doing all the bad shit doesn't want that because not only do they want their cake in the form of random sex they also want to eat it in the form of holding their partner a prisoner in a doomed relationship. It sickens me how selfish it is because all you ever see is "I love her BUT......" there is always a "but" that never ends on the honest words "....BUT I don't"
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# 57 : Thursday 9-11-2017 @ 12:46
 
 
That's all well and good if she's at home thinking everything is fine. However, there is also the situation where she has decided for whatever reason that she isn't having sex any more and he just has to accept it. Whenever he tries to explain how hard he finds a sexless marriage she doesn't want to know. There could be children, mortgage, etc which means he can't just leave.
If he decides to go elsewhere he is still cheating which is wrong and if, or more likely when she finds out he will be the biggest bastard ever and any argument that it was a last resort when she wouldn't work on the relationship part of the marriage will be ignored.
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# 58 : Thursday 9-11-2017 @ 21:38
 
 
I can think of one instance in which an affair is justified;

if you've fled from a marraige you never agreed to, but the state you're a refugee of will not issue an enullment for social or religious reasons.
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# 59 : Friday 10-11-2017 @ 02:05
 
 
Someone said :
I can think of one instance in which an affair is justified;

if you've fled from a marraige you never agreed to, but the state you're a refugee of will not issue an enullment for social or religious reasons.

Even less reason to have an affair because it might hinder the eventual annulment or divorce case though .

What's the problem with sorting out your last relationship before moving on to your next?
and if somebody says" til death us do part" it doesn't mean" til I get an itch but I'll just lie to this one for a while and be right back when I've worked it out of my system ... god I'm a great guy "
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# 60 : Friday 10-11-2017 @ 17:19
 
 
Someone said :
That's all well and good if she's at home thinking everything is fine. However, there is also the situation where she has decided for whatever reason that she isn't having sex any more and he just has to accept it. Whenever he tries to explain how hard he finds a sexless marriage she doesn't want to know. There could be children, mortgage, etc which means he can't just leave.
If he decides to go elsewhere he is still cheating which is wrong and if, or more likely when she finds out he will be the biggest bastard ever and any argument that it was a last resort when she wouldn't work on the relationship part of the marriage will be ignored.

In all fairness if he has gotten to the point where he is wearing his wife's knickers while being spit roasted I don't think you can blame it on her withholding sex anymore, no amount of sex she offers is going to stop him eventually giving in to his homosexual urges
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