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Rugby League Star Comes Out.
 
# 31 : Tuesday 6-10-2015 @ 13:33
 
 
Like I said, if you know you're not into ladies and you marry one, I find that pretty inexcusable.
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# 32 : Tuesday 6-10-2015 @ 13:41
 
 
@ Penny. I think you may be experiencing female solidarity towards the man's wife which is understandable.
My mother is forever feeling sorry for women that have been "wronged" in her eyes. The one exception being if her sons are involved in which case it's always the woman that's in the wrong.
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# 33 : Tuesday 6-10-2015 @ 16:14
 
 
Someone said :
Like I said, if you know you're not into ladies and you marry one, I find that pretty inexcusable.

Was it ever established that he knew that he wasn't into ladies?

I dont think so, so you can't be referring to him.
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# 34 : Tuesday 6-10-2015 @ 17:18
 
 
Yes, if you read the article he said he had girlfriends but that he was also interested in men from the age of about 15. He suppressed those feelings and then married a girl and had three kids with her.
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# 35 : Tuesday 6-10-2015 @ 20:52
 
 
Yeah, so in other words you're reiteration your original opinion over and over again every time someone posts a valid rebuttal of it.

You know there are people out there who stay confused about stuff like this for years.
Stop trying to make out like everyone wakes up on the morning of their 13th birthday thinking

"...I'm certain I'm gay. not slightly curious, not confused, not bisexual, I'm definitely 100% gay, better not be an asshole and do something inexcusable like marry someone of the opposite sex and have children with them"


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# 36 : Wednesday 7-10-2015 @ 10:16
 
 
It's not really an opinion, it's what happened. Fair play to the guy for finally finding out who he is, but he did hurt his ex wife in the process and I don't think that is something to be lauded.
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# 37 : Wednesday 7-10-2015 @ 11:03
 
 
No one is condoning that. No going around saying "tough cheese to his wife". No one is saying he's a great person for doing that to an innocent partner.

He's being lauded because the more people that come out publicly the fewer people will be inclined or feel social pressure to enter into ill-advised partnerships in the first place.

If we ALL (media and public alike) went around saying "well, he's a bit of a prick for doing that" and was being generally talked about as a villain then that would keep a lot more people in the the closet and in this situation for longer, hurting more people (future children) and for a longer period of time.

Societal homophobia might never have been a factor for him, he might just have been bi-sexual or whatever, but there's definitely something to be gained by his coming out that would be lost if he was treated badly by the public and made a negative example of.

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# 38 : Wednesday 7-10-2015 @ 11:43
 
 
Fair enough. I still don't think he's a hero, personally I think he sold his story for the monetary gains and the messaging about societal pressures on hiding your sexuality was secondary.
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# 39 : Wednesday 7-10-2015 @ 11:50
 
 
Someone said :
No one is condoning that. No going around saying "tough cheese to his wife". No one is saying he's a great person for doing that to an innocent partner.

He's being lauded because the more people that come out publicly the fewer people will be inclined or feel social pressure to enter into ill-advised partnerships in the first place.

If we ALL (media and public alike) went around saying "well, he's a bit of a prick for doing that" and was being generally talked about as a villain then that would keep a lot more people in the the closet and in this situation for longer, hurting more people (future children) and for a longer period of time.

Societal homophobia might never have been a factor for him, he might just have been bi-sexual or whatever, but there's definitely something to be gained by his coming out that would be lost if he was treated badly by the public and made a negative example of.

Exactly, very well said!

I don't know the guy and haven't been following the situation but we can never underestimate the pressure people can be under to conform to gender and sexuality expectations and we can't be too quick to judge people's choices.

Sometimes they just have little say in their own matters.

And sometimes people realise late in life their true feelings and sexualities.

As an example, my own cousin only realised she was a lesbian when she fell in love with a woman, she was 28 at the time and had only had boyfriends till that point. Since then, and this was a good few years ago, nearly a decade now, she's had only girlfriends and is a full-blown lesbian.
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# 40 : Wednesday 7-10-2015 @ 12:54
 
 
Someone said :
Fair enough. I still don't think he's a hero, personally I think he sold his story for the monetary gains and the messaging about societal pressures on hiding your sexuality was secondary.

Secondary but some of us are damn glad he did it anyway.
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# 41 : Wednesday 7-10-2015 @ 13:00
 
 
Someone said :
It's not really an opinion, it's what happened.

It's your opinion ("he is an asshole" = opinion) on what happened.

Someone said :
Fair play to the guy for finally finding out who he is, but he did hurt his ex wife in the process and I don't think that is something to be lauded.

No one is lauding him for hurting his wife.
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# 42 : Friday 9-10-2015 @ 10:09
 
 
I agree with penny Everybody on this site knows what a " beard" is and fooling one and having children with them is the worst kind of mercenary , motivated by wanting to fit in, it's very nice that they finally come out but what qualities as men do you think they have that should be lauded? They can act they can lie they are completely selfish , they might play sport but what does that say ? That they are dedicated masochists ?
I just hope their wives have lawyers who get them somewhat recompensed for the cover they provided .
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# 43 : Friday 9-10-2015 @ 10:17
 
 
Someone said :
I agree with penny Everybody on this site knows what a " beard" is and fooling one and having children with them is the worst kind of mercenary , motivated by wanting to fit in, it's very nice that they finally come out but what qualities as men do you think they have that should be lauded? They can act they can lie they are completely selfish , they might play sport but what does that say ? That they are dedicated masochists ?
I just hope their wives have lawyers who get them somewhat recompensed for the cover they provided .

They didn't have to come out publicly. That should be lauded, for the reasons I stated above. It's not qualities we're lauding, but (some of his)actions.

Saying he was motivated by wanting to fit in is correct. Why are you minimising how important that is to a person's mental health?

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# 44 : Friday 9-10-2015 @ 18:27
 
 
Living a lie is bad for a person's mental health bad for their mental health too,
When they eventally own up to their lie , what is there to congratulate.
Its one thing trying to pass for straight ( like we dont know ) it's another to marry some poor woman to allay suspicion...

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# 45 : Friday 9-10-2015 @ 18:35
 
 
If it was just to allay suspicion of others he's a twat pure and simple. If he was lying to himself (there's different levels of "I always knew") it's a bit more complicated.
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