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Finding It Difficult To Come Out
 
# 1 : Wednesday 14-10-2015 @ 20:39
 
 
I am finding it extremely difficult to come out. I am shy and suffer from social phobia, I don't drink alcohol. When I go to a bar I tend to freeze. This doesn't mean I don't want to be there but this is part of the condition. I have suffered for over 20 years. Hope someone can recommend some help/advice?
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# 2 : Wednesday 14-10-2015 @ 20:44
 
 
Then don't come out, its up to you and don't ever feel pressurised by them that come screaming from the closet.
You are the best judge
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# 3 : Wednesday 14-10-2015 @ 20:51
 
 
Don't pressure yourself in the need to come out! Just tell people when it's relevant! Maybe try some other options in meeting people like the gay dining group instead of just considering gay bars only.
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# 4 : Wednesday 14-10-2015 @ 21:01
 
 
Someone said :
I am finding it extremely difficult to come out. I am shy and suffer from social phobia, I don't drink alcohol. When I go to a bar I tend to freeze. This doesn't mean I don't want to be there but this is part of the condition. I have suffered for over 20 years. Hope someone can recommend some help/advice?


Video Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaRO5-V1uK0?list=FL1e44aDRblq3KPR2Kk_mb5w

Watch this. Phobias are crippling you.. completely unnecessary.. you can free yourself.. Believe me.. No one on this planet has the right to judge you..
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# 5 : Wednesday 14-10-2015 @ 21:48
 
 
Have you taken any steps to tackle the social phobia? Seems that might be the major stumbling block.
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# 6 : Wednesday 14-10-2015 @ 22:45
 
 
Yeah.
It's sound tackling them separately might be your best bet.
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# 7 : Thursday 15-10-2015 @ 12:30
 
 
Hi Alegator1, welcome to gaire.

I tend to agree with he consensus here.
Maybe seeing a professional about these phobias will help make coming out a lot easier.

If you can, or haven't already, find a Cognitive-Behavioural Therapist in your area this will be a great help in particular.

If this doesn't appeal and youd rather focus on the Coming Out part, then maybe try consulting www.gayswitchboard.ie

In the meantime, I'd recommend normalising yourself to talking anonymously about coming out. Feel free to ask questions here about experiences, share concerns if you wish.

Coming out can be different for everyone, but generally nervousness is normal... even for those without phobias.

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# 8 : Thursday 15-10-2015 @ 20:40
 
 
Thanks to everyone who contributed to my difficulty. I will take all your advice on board.
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# 9 : Monday 19-10-2015 @ 12:39
 
 
You're welcome Alrgator. Best of luck on your journey.with don't be a stranger.
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# 10 : Monday 19-10-2015 @ 14:13
 
 
Do we really need to come out these days....just be yourself....people will realize eventually
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# 11 : Monday 19-10-2015 @ 18:25
 
 
There is only one person who is qualified to judge you.. & that is you.. Fuck what every one else thinks.. Be honest with yourself & the important people in your life. Nothing else matters.. Lies & deception weigh you down & crush your soul. Be free my friend & live the life of happiness that you deserve..
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