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Not Trusting Someone ................... For Ever.
 
# 1 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 13:35
 
 
I was quite friendly with a guy up to about 15 years ago. I then found out that he had been involved in fraud at his workplace and was fired.I kind of went cool on him after that, although we still talk when we meet.
What's bothering me now is that I don't think I could ever forgive him for his dishonesty.Am I being unreasonable or is this a natural response, once dishonest always dishonest ?
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# 2 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 13:45
 
 
How did you find out? Did he tell you?

Maybe it's something he doesn't want to talk about. It's hardly something you're going to broadcast. Sounds like it's part of his past and he wants to leave it there.
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# 3 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 13:50
 
 
"If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we, could we"
We all make mistakes and do things /did things that we regret.
The real question should be whether we learn from those mistakes and, as a result change our lives.
And, if we do, should we still be condemned forever!
Just saying.......
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# 4 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 14:01
 
 
Why wouldn't you trust him? Is he your accountant or something?
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# 5 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 14:09
 
 
It's none of your business. He doesn't need your forgiveness.
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# 6 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 14:21
 
 
Well maybe Gerry wants to sleep with him and doesn't trust he'll be honest about his sexual past because of his financial past.
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# 7 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 14:23
 
 
Well then he has to build a bridge and get over it.
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# 8 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 14:48
 
 
Of course it's natural to not want to be around or associate with someone who's untrustworthy and fraudulent. But this matters less to some people than others. You shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's your own preference.
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# 9 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 15:41
 
 
Someone said :
I was quite friendly with a guy up to about 15 years ago. I then found out that he had been involved in fraud at his workplace and was fired.I kind of went cool on him after that, although we still talk when we meet.
What's bothering me now is that I don't think I could ever forgive him for his dishonesty.Am I being unreasonable or is this a natural response, once dishonest always dishonest ?

I am not justifying his actions, however do you know the full circumstances as to why he committed fraud?.

Many people forgive family and friends for criminal acts, I guess they realise one mistake in the past does not warrant a lifetime of judgement.
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# 10 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 17:29
 
 
Boggy, he ended up in court and was in the media. I don't want to go any further on detail.
19%, never anything sexual, he's married to a woman and has children.
It's just that at times I'm a bit cross with myself, I can get along with people who've struggled with addictions and lost jobs but I find I have an innate reluctance to forget about his past.
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# 11 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 18:42
 
 
If he is not handling your financial affairs, don't let it bother you and I'm sure he has paid the price for any mis-deeds of the past. Let him get on with life, get on with yours.
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# 12 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 19:06
 
 
Someone said :
Boggy, he ended up in court and was in the media. I don't want to go any further on detail.
19%, never anything sexual, he's married to a woman and has children.
It's just that at times I'm a bit cross with myself, I can get along with people who've struggled with addictions and lost jobs but I find I have an innate reluctance to forget about his past.

Why would you have a problem with someone with an addiction or had lost a job? We have all lost jobs.
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# 13 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 21:21
 
 


Someone said :

Why would you have a problem with someone with an addiction or had lost a job? We have all lost jobs.

I said the opposite, I have no problem getting along with addicts or people who get sacked from a job through their own fault, but there's a mental block with me and people who have been dishonest.My own fault, I know. Just wondering do other people experience the same feeling ?
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# 14 : Sunday 14-8-2016 @ 21:34
 
 
It's been 15 years since you were "friendly" with the guy, maybe it's time to let it go?
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# 15 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 09:08
 
 
Someone said :
It's been 15 years since you were "friendly" with the guy, maybe it's time to let it go?

You could be right.
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