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Mom Won't Talk To My Boyfriend
 
# 1 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 11:23
 
 
Has anyone problems with their mother not taking to their bf/gf.

My mother won't talk to my boyfriend she runs away, she did that at my recent birthday party, then again at weekend went over to house she went upstairs to her room.

My boyfriend gets upset, it's upsetting for me, I don't want to spend time with family if my bf is going to be excluded.I don't want her to be all over him, just civil like any other human being.

What's weird is my Dad has no problem with him, even will have drinks with him, I thought my Dad or other family views on my bf would have rubbed off on her.

I asked my brother and sister, they said that's just the way she is.

I think what she is doing is wrong, I don't know how to approach her, it's like she thinks it his fault that I'm gay.

Has anyone been in same situation and what have you done to get your parent to change?

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# 2 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 11:44
 
 
She is being incredibly rude by doing so. Her running off to her bedroom is childish.

I know there are cases where parents don't like or get on with their offsprings partner, but from what you're saying it's seems like she has an issue with gay people.
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# 3 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 12:17
 
 
I had this problem about 15 years ago when I introduced my mother to a boyfriend. She ignored him and took the fact that I was gay very hard. The best thing to do is keep them separate until she learns to deal with it. Ask your siblings and your dad to maybe talk to her about it but don't pressurise her into accepting something that she just isn't quite ready for.

Now, My mother loves my partner, they get along very well and we even plan on going on holidays the three of us. A big difference to 10-15 years ago.
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# 4 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 12:39
 
 
Cut off all family contact for a little while. Spend time with your partner instead. Your mother will come around when she realises she isnt going to see you anymore unless she grows the fuck up.
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# 5 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 13:40
 
 
That is a terrible thing to advise Thomas!!!! Do not cut off contact with your family!!!



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# 6 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 15:19
 
 
Just three or four weeks of radio silence could see the father and the siblings put some gentle pressure on the mother.
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# 7 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 15:47
 
 
Someone said :
Cut off all family contact for a little while. Spend time with your partner instead. Your mother will come around when she realises she isnt going to see you anymore unless she grows the fuck up.

Cutting off all family contact seems harsh if it's just the mother...
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# 8 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 15:55
 
 
Its just for a few weeks - he probably doesn't see his siblings outside of the family home much anyway. He could still respond to txts from his siblings but keep it brief. The family needs a wake-up call - this carry on is not acceptable.
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# 9 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 16:30
 
 
I don't know what to do, it's bit soul destroying to be honest. I don't see much of siblings anymore last few weeks was much more interaction as niece and nephew stayed in parents for last week's.
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# 10 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 17:42
 
 
Just bring it up. Bring it up with her when the two of you are alone.

Don't humiliate her at a family gathering, or don't bring it up when you are with your partner. Have a cup of tea with her and talk about it in a context where you can both be honest.
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# 11 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 18:06
 
 
Someone said :
Just bring it up. Bring it up with her when the two of you are alone.

Don't humiliate her at a family gathering, or don't bring it up when you are with your partner. Have a cup of tea with her and talk about it in a context where you can both be honest.

This.

Not talking to her or the remainder of the family seems like using the nuclear option when you still have other more placid means of trying to resolve this. I get that you might not know how to broach the issue, but establishing a freeze-out is not going to get you over that hurdle either and might lead to crossed wires. Or it may lead to the party in the wrong feeling aggrieved and retrospectively justifying their conduct. It will also likely provide an opportunity for the rest of the family to feel that they have been punished for something they had no part in or even thinking you are the one acting unreasonable towards your Mother.

You've got to tell her how you feel, what the way she is acting is making you feel.
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# 12 : Monday 15-8-2016 @ 18:59
 
 
Good advice there. Maybe have that quiet cup of tea before you go nuclear.

At the same time I'd avoid family functions until she comes around. No need to exclude your BF or make him feel like shit.
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# 13 : Tuesday 16-8-2016 @ 08:17
 
 
Thanks I'll try have a chat one on one with her, I don't think bringing it up in front of everyone will help, my brother and sister won't say anything so it's up to me, it's weird situation to be in, mother doesn't like bf, then if I try to bring it up its me and him causing the problem according to the family, if I say anything causes problems with the bf as I'm not trying to change it.
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# 14 : Tuesday 16-8-2016 @ 13:43
 
 
Hope it goes well - keep us posted.
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# 15 : Tuesday 16-8-2016 @ 13:46
 
 
How about locking both of them in a room, head off for a weekend and let them work together to escape?
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