I overcame my 'shame' by forgiving myself.
(I also subsequently realized, after this happened that there was nothing to forgive)
It's a short sentence, but it took the guts of about 9 years to achieve.
The reason I can be so specific about the time is because I did nothing until I did this, once I had come to terms with who I was I then came out etc etc, and from puberty to telling someone was almost exactly 9 years
The mistake people make is not forgiving themselves and therefore rooting out the source of the shame.
Getting better at coping with your shame and becoming more socially skilled at handling it, is not the same forgiving yourself for something you see as shameful.
A metaphor would be something like, imagine you have a mangled hand which you're sensitive about, and in social situation you get better at coping with your shame and 'appearing to be fine' if someone brings it up. But coping with your insecurity is a stopgap, not a final solution. You eventually need to 'get onto' forgiving yourself and get in touch with who you really are, not the "imaginary you" you're battering the "real you" over the head with.
If you think about it this way; ask yourself "Am I ashamed of myself?" (hopefully the answer will be no)
then ask yourself "Am I ashamed of being gay" if the answer is yes, then you're essentially saying your ashamed of the person you really are.
And that's comparing the real you, to a fictional you.
I mean, I can imagive a me that can fly and shoot lazers, I can imagine a thin me, or a straight me or a smarter me,
but these "me clones" have the luxury of being make believe.
They don't live day to day, they don't have to worry about temporal existence or what their past is. They just pop into existence like a comic book character speaking Japanese and being thin and able to fly and have sex with girls (etc). Yeah well it's easy to be imagined into existence being perfect isn't it?
That 'real you' that you're tinkering with to make all these easy-to-imagine improved models is the one that holds your brain, the body that keeps you breathing, and the method by which you experience all of life and existence; the real you is already infinity more good and deserving of respect, and has been there the whole time holding the fort of your existence (often thanklessly and despite your vices and self destructive tendencies).