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Coming Out Advice Please
 
# 1 : Thursday 13-10-2016 @ 09:41
 
 
I am married with two sons. And yes l have been with a man and enjoyed it. I felt totally ashamed of myself afterwards. I know it's wrong to lie but also know the devastation that would be caused if l came out. Has anyone been in a similar position and can advise
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# 2 : Thursday 13-10-2016 @ 13:28
 
 
Someone said :
I am in a similar position but married with two sons. And yes l have been with a man and enjoyed it. I felt totally ashamed of myself afterwards. I know it's wrong to lie but also know the devastation that would be caused if l came out. Has anyone been in a similar position and can advise

If it's a one off then I guess forget about it and move on but if you are gay then maybe you need to talk to someone about it, a therapist. No need to feel ashamed but they might help you with potential problems.
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# 3 : Thursday 13-10-2016 @ 14:02
 
 
Grab life by the balls.. most people are fine example with it nowadays but don't be cruel and hurt others on your path.
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# 4 : Thursday 13-10-2016 @ 14:27
 
 
Please note: This topic was split off from another topic so Ajones10 wording may appear a little more direct than he intended as he was referring to another posters issue. But its better to have his post in a separate topic. Hope that explains that, phew!
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# 5 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 06:39
 
 
It's been more than a one off. I am married for over 20 years. The older l get the more l want to be with men so it's not just a case of forget about it and move on.
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# 6 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 07:34
 
 
If you're feeling ashamed and worried I would recommend getting advice. Contact the gay switchboard or the Outhouse and they might be able to suggest someone you can contact in your local area.
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# 7 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 10:16
 
 
Thanks for the reply
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# 8 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 11:11
 
 
Hi. Can only offer a wifes perspective i'm afraid.
I would be devastated to find out after 20 years of marriage my whole life had been a lie
Howver. You do have a life to lead too. I would rather he came and told me the truth than catch him cheating.

None of Your options are ideal.
1. Stay as you are and continue to cheat on your wife and HOPE she doesnt catch you.
2. Leave your wife and sons and start over a new life in your 50s as a gay man
3. Tell your wife and she may come to terms and allow you to indulge once you dont leave (only you know your wifes limits and whether she is open minded)

Only you can decide whats best for you
Whatever you decide good luck.
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# 9 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 11:47
 
 
Probably the best option as you say is to come clean and start out as a gay man in my fifties. My wife would never come to terms with it. I cannot carry on cheating. Thanks for the advice.
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# 10 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 14:50
 
 
I would agree with the suggestion that you make a clean break with your wife and come out and live your life as a gay man. I know that there are children involved but they will hopefully come around to understanding after time.

It's always better to be true to yourself. Best of luck.
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# 11 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 17:14
 
 
I know a couple of married men with kids who came out. It was very tough for a couple of years but both they and their wives moved on amicably.
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# 12 : Friday 14-10-2016 @ 23:46
 
 
Divorce is tough , I hope you end up with a good relationship with your children and your wife also is happy to start again.
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# 13 : Saturday 15-10-2016 @ 06:20
 
 
tell her ur gay , what can u say , its the truth , u like men , at least being honest , and not hiding it like so many others , when u tell here ur gay , ur free , she know ur gay and ur kid know ur gay , she can gat over u , and u can move on , better off for both , but really i think to enjoy the gay thing u should be one ur own not married or all that , its rubbish , be who u are , don't try to suit anyone else ,marriage breaks up all the time , at the end of urs ul be free to make ur own choice on who u like , divorce or whatever , in the long run ul be more satisfied
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# 14 : Saturday 15-10-2016 @ 09:59
 
 
Someone said :
I am married with two sons. And yes l have been with a man and enjoyed it. I felt totally ashamed of myself afterwards. I know it's wrong to lie but also know the devastation that would be caused if l came out. Has anyone been in a similar position and can advise

It might be useful to call Gay Switchbaord Ireland: (01)08721055
It has a married men's group whose members have been in the same position: http://gayswitchboard.ie/married-mens-group/
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# 15 : Wednesday 19-10-2016 @ 12:34
 
 
Thanks. Have visited their website and a few others. Will be contacting them this evening. Hopefully l can get to Dublin and attend a group meet.
You have all been very kind and non judgemental here so thanks a lot.
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