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Gay Loneliness - Do You Agree?
 
# 1 : Thursday 16-3-2017 @ 03:13
 
 
I was reading an article in the Huffington Post about the pervading sense of isolation and loneliness in the gay male community in the USA. I think a lot of it rings true. Despite achieving full equality, many gay men are very lonely and unhappy deep down. Do you agree? Or is it too negative and one-sided?

Link to article:
http://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/
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# 2 : Thursday 16-3-2017 @ 07:59
 
 
I've downloaded but not yet read two articles responding to it that say it isn't the whole story. I remember when BeLonGTo commissioned research on the experiences of young lgbt people a few years ago, the findings were 'bimodal': lots of young lgbt people experience depression, anxiety, bullying, exclusion, fear, etc., but lots show great resilience, ability to respond to adversity, etc.
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# 3 : Thursday 16-3-2017 @ 08:41
 
 
Someone said :
I've downloaded but not yet read two articles responding to it that say it isn't the whole story. I remember when BeLonGTo commissioned research on the experiences of young lgbt people a few years ago, the findings were 'bimodal': lots of young lgbt people experience depression, anxiety, bullying, exclusion, fear, etc., but lots show great resilience, ability to respond to adversity, etc.

It was the same with the older peoples study - lots of adverse experiences but a lot of resilience in responding

Are the two respondibg articles in Journals?
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# 4 : Thursday 16-3-2017 @ 12:52
 
 
Lot of truth in that article. Maybe it is a bit dismal at times but I think it is important. We've made a lot of progress and have much to celebrate but I think it is important that in focusing on the positive that we don't forget about the problems that still exist.
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# 5 : Thursday 16-3-2017 @ 12:54
 
 
Someone said :
I've downloaded but not yet read two articles responding to it that say it isn't the whole story. I remember when BeLonGTo commissioned research on the experiences of young lgbt people a few years ago, the findings were 'bimodal': lots of young lgbt people experience depression, anxiety, bullying, exclusion, fear, etc., but lots show great resilience, ability to respond to adversity, etc.

I'm going to be super painful so sorry about that but can't one be resilient, able to respond to adversity and still have battle scars like depression, anxiety etc?
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# 6 : Thursday 16-3-2017 @ 22:43
 
 
I can relate to a lot of stuff in the article. In particular the youthful teasing and friends becoming distant when your sexuality becomes apparent. It does leave a mark and then you grow up and realise that society just isn't built around us from the ground up like it is for straight people.

Mostly every gay person you meet has been through their own slings and arrows and probably picked up a skewed outlook and a couple of questionable coping methods along the way. It is a lonely life and boredom can lead you down some tricky paths.
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# 7 : Friday 17-3-2017 @ 10:59
 
 
Someone said :

It was the same with the older peoples study - lots of adverse experiences but a lot of resilience in responding

Are the two respondibg articles in Journals?

No, magazine articles like the first one.

I'm home now, so I have the details.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2017/03/06/gay_loneliness_is_r etc ...

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2017/03/07/the_gay_loneliness_ etc ...
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# 8 : Friday 17-3-2017 @ 20:21
 
 
What about women - would there be much differences in the experiences of the two sexes?
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# 9 : Saturday 18-3-2017 @ 15:25
 
 
Someone said :
What about women - would there be much differences in the experiences of the two sexes?

Good point PowPow! But I think Loneliness is universal, as much as each minority would like to claim a special relationship with it. Personally, that is exactly what i think the most destructive thing about loneliness is... loneliness is arrogant, it's interior. It does not give a fuck whether you are male, female or Q
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# 10 : Saturday 18-3-2017 @ 15:44
 
 
Someone said :

Good point PowPow! But I think Loneliness is universal, as much as each minority would like to claim a special relationship with it. Personally, that is exactly what i think the most destructive thing about loneliness is... loneliness is arrogant, it's interior. It does not give a fuck whether you are male, female or Q

I was thinking about it Buttercups and you're dead right. Loneliness is not prejudiced.
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# 11 : Saturday 18-3-2017 @ 16:00
 
 
Not at all P! As a community, we like to see ourselves as different (or out of self preservation). The really awful thing about loneliness is that it slowly eats away at all of us, and it bears no prejudice towards our social/economic standing. If anything, loneliness is something that should bring us together. It is indiscriminate. I genuinely, fervently believe that there is more that unites us thsn divides us.
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# 12 : Wednesday 22-3-2017 @ 07:37
 
 
Try being a gay woman in rural Ireland. Bloody hell. Lucky I'm ok in my own company and have good straight friends.
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# 13 : Thursday 23-3-2017 @ 00:06
 
 
Are the lesbians in rural areas all paired up?
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# 14 : Thursday 23-3-2017 @ 20:15
 
 
I'm probably in a position of being vulnerable to being quite lonely for the next few days/nights. It'll be my first time back in an empty, unshared bed, after a spell of experiencing a shared one.

Dare I say, It might sometimes feel more lonely for gay folk especially considering how it's often more difficult to meet potential partners.
I have a better understanding of how and why people might look for quick hook ups. For the sake of emotional pacification; "scoring" or at the very least knowing you could score if you wanted to, if you doll yourself up and trollop to the nearest meat market. It probably goes some way to help allow yourself to believe "I don't have to be alone in bed, I'm just alone because I hold myself to standards".

In my eyes there still remains an important difference though between using a bed to "fuck someone in" and, having someone to cuddle into when you go to sleep.
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# 15 : Saturday 25-3-2017 @ 09:38
 
 
Someone said :
Loneliness is not prejudiced.

I don't know if I agree with this. I genuinely do believe a lot of people are lonely because of the circumstances of their sexuality.
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